Perpetually Perplexed

I never knew that middle age will bring so many problems. Somewhere I read the original life-span of man was only twenty years. May be it is true. By the time you are forty, most of your organs will be in bad shape. So god is telling us. See your situation is not good at all. How long do you want to drag on? Start from feet. By the noon time, I will be painfully aware of their existence. I have to drag them instead of them carrying me. And eyes. Leave threading the needle, I have to increase the font in Internet explorer to large. I have to pester my collegues to install new softwares which will allow me to see larger fonts than stupid telnet. If there are small wiggling things in rava, I can not see them at all. Of course I can ware glasses which are so meaningfully called chaalish in Hindi. But put on the glasses when reading, remove them when walking, put it on again and forget it somewhere. Is very tiresome. So no glasses unless I HAVE to stitch something. Then stomac...

I am very scared about sharing my name and other details in the blog. (You blog because you are sure of annonymity. If you had the courage to share your feelings and thoughts openly, then blog world would not have started and grown so much) So you can see nowhere in the blog I mention about what I am, what is my name etc. But now I am sure these people can find out and know you. I have heard that internet people can find which area you are from. But associating you with an annonymous site. How do they do that? How did I come to that conclusion? Well, any (damn) thing I search in google, I will get the same google ad. "How to have a flat ab". How do these people know that I have an ab which is real need of exercising.

Today's TOI Jugular vein has an article about non-existence of roads in Indian cities. I have a consolation here. I have been travelling in this particular road since almost three months. In the busiest magadi road, there is a combination of speed breaker ie road humps and pot holes. Speed breakers we are very painfully aware of. They are meant to kill the speed but they very effectively make you lose control. (On ring road, between Hosakerehalli and Mysore road junction there are some 4 speed breakers. Each one is a series of 4-5 humps. Driving through them is a night mare.) Just now I read, one parent has gone to court against BBMP as his son lost control over a speed breaker and fell and died. Anyway these are speed breakers. And potholes are very very popular. Now in Magadi road, it looks as if somebody designed a road hump but was very economical with tar. So it was a terrible combination. In that busy road, everyone used to go at a speed of -10. And obviously everyone would p...

We blame politicians for everything. But are not we also to blame? We keep quite when someone is using religion to spread hatred. We happily agree to whatever they say atleast mentally. Even if we don't agree to their propaganda, we keep quite. We don't protest. So we are to blame as well. Why don't we realise that the person who teaches us to hate for whatever reason, does not want our well being. For he knows like everybody else that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". Then what he wants is not our good, but his personal gain, may be votes, may be power. Please let us take an oath, not to listen to these people. Let us understand, religion means love not hatred. Now look at our own karnataka. Churches are being attacked. No one is talking about them. Why, we want one more communal violence? We want Christian terrorists? DO we? For heaven's sake. We have so many problems ourselves. We want roti, kapada and makaan. And then a god to pra...

I keep reading alternately depression articles and IT articles. Now OK I am spilling the beans. This blog is one of my escape routes from complete lost feeling. How do I manage to remain sane? Am I sane now? Should ask someone!! I don't see one soul who listens to me or understands me. Well nor am I able to understand myself. I work to escape from this desperate feeling but feel even worse there. So I quit 2 jobs already and am in third one. Where is solution

Trapped everywhere In work, in home(?), in life There is no escape There is not even back button No undo Ctrl+Alt+Del ????

This is what is required. Passion about work. Forget it. Atleast not hatred, grumbling, cursing everytime. Today I saw my students working all the programs, thinking, discussing, debugging. Gone are the days, when they will call saar or mam for syntax errors. Now they are even trying to solve segmentation faults themselves. Well, I had thought that these kids are gone case. They spell bubble sort as bobble sort and such things. But no, English is not our tongue. They have every right to misspell it to any extent they want. And THAT does not say anything about their capacity as a programmer or atleast would be programmers. I have this one student who actually smiles when I explain a new concept. Great!!! This kind of smile is not available to everyone. I know, these kids once they get a job, will talk to us as if they are in sky and we are on the paltry ground. If they talk that is. Next thankless job, next to mothers is teachers. But it is similar to mothers in its rewards as well. A m...

hondadallaadaru haku, kocheyallaadaru haaku. raaghavendra hengaadru maadi roadanna daatidare maneyalli haayagiruvenu raghavendra