Perpetually Perplexed

Since IT revolution, many of the asian countries, India and its neighbors have improved a lot. Standard of living has improved. Along with that, people have become less poor, more educated, more liberal. But has the situation really improved? For women? Yesterday, a 25 year old woman from Pakistan Farzana Parveen was buried. The previous day she was stoned to death by her relatives including her father, for marrying against their wishes. She was 3 months pregnant . Last year another woman was stoned to death, for possessing a cell-phone. Each year thousands of women are stoned to death in the name of honor-killing. What is the use of development? And  freedom? Why can't the governments ban such heinous and barbaric acts and punish the guilty?

Image courtesy: Outlook

Wanted A live in maid. Should be good looking. Should be affectionate. Good cooking skills are essential. Must be able to keep the house in order always. Must have infinite patience. Should be intelligent enough to understand the great work I am doing and always be at awe about this. But not  any more intelligent to question anything. Should be a very good listener. But must have very limited talking skills. Salary is not provided. Nor are there any leaves. But good food  is not charged. And boarding and lodging is also free.

Today I saw blog of a man  who stated that his ideal job was house-husband, but he could not get it. He thinks he is being funny. Or may be sarcastic. But believe me. Being a house-wife or a house-husband sucks. No amount of blogging, googling or any other activity can fill the huge empty feeling you have always. The reasons could be various. When your kids grow up, you really don't have to take care of their needs so much. They make it clear that they don't need you. And after such long marriage, you are not very important in your spouse's life either. You are not master of the house. Nor are you a servant. Who are you? Do you belong to the house at all? If you do not belong to the place where you stay 24 hours, where else do you belong?  May be I like to play the victim card. Like they say everyone of us want to feel rightfully wronged. But let me make it clear that no one stopped me from being a working mom, other than  my  incredible laziness. But dear gir...

Ratnarashi Pandey was married at a tender age of 14. She had to suffer a lot from the hands of her abusive husband. But being the stronger type she continued her studies and got a divorce from her husband after 13 years of marriage. And she cleared the civil services exam. Kudos to this girl. But that is not what the government said. It denied her the job as she had committed a crime of child marriage. Twice she cleared the exam and twice she was rejected the job. As she had to bring up her two children, she needed the job. She went to high court and then supreme court and finally won the case. So this is how our rules and laws punish the victim instead of the offenders. In far away Chechenya, which was once a part of Russia, but now independent country, girls are not supposed step outside their homes without hijab. And if they talk to any male other than their family members they should keep a distance of few feet. But that does not stop the kidnappers from kidnapping these gir...

I was crying in my mind asking why me, Oh god, why me. I saw her. Her hand was cut, her legs were slightly swollen and she had blood red eyes. May be from loss of sleep over her drunken husband. Still she was chatty and was efficiently cleaning my house. She was telling about her husband who would pull her mangalya to pawn for drinking, her father who would not even come to her wedding and her son who suddenly decided he no longer wants to go to school. She was not crying. Strong women do not cry, but face the world. I felt  ashamed of my imaginary grief.

When all of us are hanging our heads in shame for what happened to Nirbhaya in Delhi, our politicians have different viewpoints If a woman crosses the line of maryada, like Sita crossed Laxman rekha, she will be abducted and punished says madhyapradesh minister Kailash Vijayvargiya. His reasoning nowadays women are not wearing dupattas. And rapes happen in Urban areas due to western influence says RSS chief Mohan Bhagawat. West Bengal MLA asked the chief minister Mamata Bannerjee " What is your fee Didi, How much will you take for getting raped?" Later he apologised. Satyanaraya transport minister said that just because women should not roam at night just because India got independence at night. The girl should not have travelled in the night in the bus. So the sum total of their viewpoint is all the rape victims are some how responsible themselves. Why do they go out of the house? Or better why were they born at all? If not anything else, they believe in one sen...

When our children were toddlers, we used to tell them," Do not go in the dark. There is gumma (ghost in baby language)". Now to our grown up daughters should we say "Do not go outside after dark. There are men out there"? I do not want to offend thousands of good men who rescue the women whenever possible. But this is the harsh truth!!!

Women are beautiful people to be around. They look cute when they smile at you. Especially neighbor's wives and girls walking on the street. They look cute when you make a innuendo and they are embarrassed, but are too scared to show their anger because you are their boss. They look cute when you yell at them at their mistakes - well you show them it is their mistake, because it can never be your mistake, as you are the boss, and they are suppressing the tears which are welling up in their eyes. They look cute when they are begging you for one day leave as their child is sick and you are trying to ignore their request, but still they hover around and try to  put on a smile which in fact looks like they are crying. They look cute when you and your colleagues try to make a indecent joke at their expense and they pretend not to hear it but with very red face. But why don't they look cute when they serve you food at home, putting so much effort and thought and time into that f...