Perpetually Perplexed

I tried searching for inspiration using stumbleupon , but not closing blogger window. That is real optimism. But inspiration does not work that way. OK. Let me post some thing from my old note book. ನವಜಾತ ಶಿಶುವ ಹೊಳೆಗೆಸೆದ  ಅಮ್ಮ ನೂ ಅಪ್ಪನೂ ಆಗಿ ಸಾಕಿದ ತಂದೆಯೂ ತನ್ನಷ್ಟೇ ಎತ್ತರದ ಮಗನೆದುರು ಪ್ರೇಮ ರೋಗವೆಂದು ಅಳಲಿದಾಗ ಏನು ಮಾಡಬೇಕಿತ್ತು ಈ ದೇವವ್ರತ ಭೀಷ್ಮನಾಗದೇ ? ತೊಟ್ಟ  ಭೀಷ್ಮ  ಶಪಥವ  ಹೊಗಳಿದಾಗ ಎದೆಯುಬ್ಬಿತ್ತು  ಇಂತಹ   ತ್ಯಾಗಿ  ಮನೋ ನಿಗ್ರಹಿ  ಇರಬಲ್ಲರೆ ?  ಅರಿಯದ   ಮುಗುದ  ಮಕ್ಕಳ  - ಅಪ್ಪನ  ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಸಾಕಿ  ಸಲಹಿದೆ  ರಾಜ ಕುವರಿಯರ ಗೆದ್ದು  ತಂದು  ಅವರ  ಮದುವೆಯ  ಮಾಡಿದೇ   ಫಲ ಅಂಬೆಯ ಶಾಪ    ಇಂದು  ಅವರ  ಮೊಮ್ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಒಬ್ಬರನ್ನೊಬ್ಬರು  ಕೊಲ್ಲಲು  ಹೊರಟಾಗ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು  ಹೊರಬಾರದು  ಬಾರದಿರದು  ಇವರ ಪ್ರಶ್ನಿಸಲು ನಾನಿವರ ಅಜ್ಜನೆ? ಅಲ್ಲ, ಇವರು ನನ್ನ   ಸಂತಾನವಲ್ಲ. ಅಖಿಲ ಜೀವ  ಜನ್ತುಗಳೆಲ್ಲ  ಸಂತಾನಕ್ಕಾಗಿಯೇ  ಬದುಕಿ    ಸಾಯುವಾಗ ಯಾವ ಸಾರ್ಥಕತೆಗೆ ಈ ಪ್ರತಿಜ್ಞೆ...

I heard that she is an angel  and my seven brothers are vasus who were cursed and hence were supposed to incarnate as humans. Do all these justify her to drown all the seven of them? Her own babies, soon after they are born? What happened to the affection of the mother?   And father stopped her from drowning me. And since he broke her promise she immediately left him. She raised me till I was 16 and brought me back then.   I am back in Hastinapur and see father has turned more like a hermit. I decide that I will try and correct my mother's mistake. I will always keep my father happy.   But suddenly father becomes moody. He is lost in thought, he does not eat his food properly. He is flippant when I ask him for the reason. I do my own investigation and come to know that father has fallen in love with a fisher woman and her father is not willing to marry her to father.   I go to their hut. Asking the hand of Satyavati for my father. Look at the irony of the si...

Among the Indian epics, I feel Mahabharatha is more realistic than Ramayana. In Ramayana, all the characters are either white or black whereas in MahaBharatha they are all sorts grey. Look at Dharmaraya, he is supposed to be the epitome of truth and honesty so much so that when he says "Ashwaththamo hatah kunjarah ", even Drona believes it. But he does not hear kunjaraha because of Krishna and that is another story. So Yudhistira or Dharmaraya is supposed to be without flaws. But what does he do when playing dice? He bets his own wife Draupadi and loses her and causes her to be humiliated in front of the entire court. Look at Krishna. He is supposed to be the incarnation of Lord Vishnu. But he has his own ideas of what is fair and what is not fair. When his sister is pregnant with Abhimanyu, he tells her all about the war of mahabharatha and about a formation of army called chakravyuha which will be used by enemy Kauravas. He explains her how to enter into the Chakravyuha. Th...