Perpetually Perplexed

So more god humor, this time straight from google image search. Do you accept this,  google?  Did this really happen to you too?  Good one. But not very good because we prefer colorful images. Hilarious!!

Or at least once in three four days. And by praying I mean, not just mumble few words of God, the traditional way of going to the God's room (the room to which you have confined God or assorted Gods as in our case ), and lighting a diya and prostrate with some incantations prayers. With diya, and more so with the electric light, you can see the cob-webs on the roof and on walls and make a mental note of removing them soon ! If you are procrastinator like me, as usual when doing one unwanted to task, you will remember many other tasks you could be or should be doing and the chances of getting them done is higher. And chances of remembering these tasks is not very high on other times as your nose is glued to TV or laptop on all other times. The exercise of prostrating and touching your forehead to floor is a good exercise for your tummy and you feel happy that your exercising for the day is done ;). Ask Baba Ramdev.  It is like kapal bhati. The more namaskaras (as this ...

You say:  "yadyad karmam karomi tattadakhilam shambho tavaaraadhanam" You mean: See, today I have some urgent work to do. Lot of well.. mundane works to do. See we mortals need to do these, no matter how trivial these are. So I can not spare any time for praying to you. Hope you understand. Hey, don't sulk. Tomorrow, I promise I will chant 2 or 3 extra shlokas. Note: यद्यद कर्मम करोमि तत्तदखिलं शम्भो तवाराधनम This line is from "Shiva manas puja" by Adi Shankaracharya. Meaning of this line is any work I am doing is a salutation to you.

I am an unconfirmed atheist. I am not sure like so many other things, whether do I believe in God. Most of us belong to this category, don't we? But I religiously (?) keep shouting Sanskrit shlokas most of the days in the morning. (I can let my readers know about my atheism, but not my neighbors) Well, I try to follow one principle my dad has taught me - ಹೋದ್ರೆ  ಕಲ್ಲು ಹೋಯ್ತು . ಬಂದ್ರೆ  ಮಾವಿನಕಾಯಿ ಬಂತು. You throw a stone to a mango. If by luck, the mango does fall down, you do get a mango. If it does not, you have lost just a stone. 

Let me make myself very clear here. I am not talking of certain ex CM, nor about certain other ex CM. I am not even talking about not ex PM. I am talking about mightier than all, the almighty. We have been told that, he is supposed to help the good and punish the bad. But if you look at newspapers everyday, you can very well guess, who is being paritranified and who is being vinashified. Why, why, why is HE letting all this happen. Now let us look into physics. In order not to sound old orthodox ancestors. Laws of physics says that matter can not be created , nor it can be destroyed. But the same physics laws state that mass can be converted into energy and vice versa. So now initially there was nothing. No matter, no earth, no sun, no moon, no nothing. Then HE created all. How? Conversion!!! He converted his energy to create mass. Quite a lot of it. So now HE has lost most of its energy viz power. So now you know the reason , stop blaming HIM.

We all love our TVs. Love it and can't move our eyes off it. Have you ever thought of the reason? We just can't help it. How many of our new year resolutions don't begin with "watch less tv"? Year after year? Have you ever thought of reason behind it? Because we are bored to death? Because we are completely disillusioned by life so much that we are reaching out for least harmful escapism. Not exactly. We love TV because GOD is there in it. Yes GOD is. In my TV GOD is in channel 14 :) ;) 

The omnipotent - one and only - God , is unable to protect himself? Did he ask his strong supporters to carry out this task for him? To elaborate did he say " See children, I am getting slightly aged. And tired. What with you children bickering all the time and finding some reason or the other to hurt each other. And I will also not be able to feed you for much longer what with you greedily putting some stony thing everywhere. And on top of all this, some of these smart children of mine are making fun of me, my appearance, my books etc.. I can not protect my own reputation and dignity. So please help me and punish these people. "? Did he say this? My dear believers of all religions?

Dear namma sarakar, why are the snatching our pens (keyboards?) from us? (I can not say snatching bread from our our childrens' mouths. Nobody is gullible enough to believe that a blogger lives from blog earning) If you decide that we can not write about God, we can not write about netas, whom do we blog about? We can not blog about our husbands(or wives). They will have to feed us (or cook for us -whichever is the case). We can not blog about sabziwalla, dukanwalla or even our maids. We do need them. We thought HE is too far away to come here and trouble us when we caricature him. And we were sure that he does not have any kith and kin here who may trouble us. Like "I may fight with my husband twenty times in a day. Who are you  to ask ?" , it is our personal matter. I find different ways of making fun of him and he will find different ways of putting vighnas(stumbling blocks) in my ways. We have a good mutual understanding. And I am sure he is not that sensitive....

Today there was a news article saying that a place of worship has imposed a dress code for the people visiting there. (Hence forth, I will not use names, I will try to be subtle, and tactical here because I do not want to get in the wrong terms with fanatics   hurt the feelings of any religion.) The statement given by the authorities says that the people must dress decently. Their attire should not distract other worshipers. What is your take on that, O Almighty? Do you mind if people dress not so decently when they give you a visit? Or will you be distracted as well or may be embarassed?  When you are telling to whomever that " bless this little girl who is wearing uh uh , what was I saying again?". But you are here for thousands of years when the dressing modestly was had a more liberal meaning. When people used to dress in much lesser items. Well anyway if you still feel embarrassed in front of your children, who are being economical in their dresses, you can watc...

Even our religion is better than yours.  It is such a pity that you have only one god. We have so many. And each one is a specialist. One for wealth (Laxmi), one for education(Saraswati), one for courage, one for trouble (Shani)(!) and so on. Can your religion ever beat that? Image courtesy : The Hindu Note : Idella sumne tamashege. I do not intend to hurt the feelings of any community including mine. Note 2: The moment I posted this and looked into the tag humor, I started getting two scary ads in my blog, one some inappropriate site showing the image of a woman and the other one asking whether the reader wants to know such and such religion. Do the advertisers (or the programs which are written for them) think that just because a person makes fun of the religion, he/she is a pervert or he/she has decided to convert to some other religion? Now I am breathing easy after going to adsense settings and blocking religious or sexual or dating ads. Please remember,  we ha...

God has infinite names. At least our Hindu God has. And one of them is Kusumakara. I was intrigued by this name. (I hope intrigue is same as ಜಿಜ್ಞಾಸೆ in Kannada) Kusuma is my husband's childhood friend's wife. Sorry, I was joking. Kusuma is flower. kara is hand. Kusumakara means one who is holding a flower. But we thought God is holding this earth.  Why on the earth is God holding the flower? May be to give it to Goddess (or an apsara, but let us assume that he wants to give it to goddess his respective goddess for god's sake.)  As we can not go there ( with this body at least), and as there will be no live telecast or youtube video, we will have to use our imagination. Our God says " As the children say on that planet earth, will you be, er.. my.... er... valentine. I am not sure what this valentine. I assume it is something like priyatama. But sounds more cool. I know, I know what you will say." You can't even get a proper gift. Look at all other Go...

Our politicians are very much hurt by the current events. Every Tom, Dick and Harry is that is every Shyam, Ram and Bhim are ridiculing them, blaming them and even hurling shoes at them. They are all talking as if politicians are the roots of all evil. And if that were not enough, they are taking the government to ransom by threatening with satyagraha, fast and dharana. Deeply hurt by these happenings, our political brotherhood has decided to show that even constitutional members can do what others do. The elected peoples' representatives can also not only drive fast cars, but fast. They are not inferior to any Anna, Ram or Bheem. According to reliable sources, our pradhana mantri has decided that he will fast, fast and more fast until people stop calling him a his masters voice. And a certain chief minister has decided she will fast until Maran, chidambaram and in fact all friends and kith and kin of previous CM are removed from their posts and arrested. A particular member o...

Tip : If you have a lot of oil left out from frying (for a party, a puja etc), store it in a pet bottle and use it for lighting diyas in front of God.    In the initial days of my friendship with net, I used to search for kitchen tips and save them in a file !!! No, even then I wasn't a kitchen  person. May be lack of awareness was the reason. I did not know that there are million better ways, to kill time on   use  net.     The second part of the title, is because mom (may be even my spouse) would be outraged. Is it not sacrilageous to use used oil for God!! Won't he(God),  be unhappy with me?     But my opinion is, no he will not be. First of all, he won't be bothered. In fact he will be glad that, atleast I did light some diyas for him. And even if he is worried , I can convince him, that this way he can contribute a little bit to recycling and Green revolution. If still he is not happy, I can tell him, no...