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Tube Light

In the good old days, people used to call not so smart person as tube light. Our contribution to this nomenclature was, the dumber he gets, the longer is the tube. But now in my house, not the tube, but the switch itself is tube light. Put in another way, it is not flashing, igniting, burning fast. But ask my husband, he says I don’t know how to switch on the light. Well, I am 43 and not such a long tube and I might have switched on and off million times. But no, he is convinced that it is me who is having a problem not the switch.
Well when you switch on a light, you expect it to glow or not glow. You don’t expect it be in a tri state. I go to kitchen for dumping a dish into sink, I switch on the light, dump the dish, wash my hands and come back. While coming back I religiously switch off the light . ( Otherwise "Is it Deepavali today, why all the lights are on?" Roars the husband). But all in vain!! Because that @#!!$ switch did not turn on at all.
Children taught me a trick. Press the switch a little bit, then it will be alright, they advised. I should wash the vessels. So I go to the kitchen, , press switch with all my might. After confirming that light is turned on, I come inside kitchen and resume my work. But, how can I ? The light is swallowed by darkness. The great switch has turned off by itself. More #$#@@... . , more swearing. But what is the use? I am not blessed enough to go from “tamasoma jyothirgamaye…” ( from darkness to light)
So I told the great master of the house, that switch has to be repaired. He told me it is working alright. I shouted, he shouted. Son told if you both don’t shut up, I will run away. But through all these violence, switch and its tube light were happily grinning.
Now I am waiting for my teenage son who is always angry, to break the switch so that I can at least realize that life is darkness and learn how to cook in darkness.

If you have to go to bath room, and you don’t , you feel uncomfortable. This uncomfortable feeling is all too familiar to women in India who venture outside the house, what with no public toilettes or not clean ones at least. But I bear that uncomfortable feeling for a long time even in my house. Because of the bathroom tap! It will not close properly. It leaks. Rotate it more and it leaks with more strenght. If you press the tap a little, the leak will become a continuous flow. Try this way, try that way, press a little, rotate a little. Thank god, finally water has stopped. You come out, relieved in more than one way. But what is this? Drip…drip….drip. O god, what shall I do? “Enamma, what is this sound? Just check which tap is leaking” Order from invisible face behind the paper . Now tell me what am I supposed to do?
I run to kitchen. Atleast let me drink a hot cup of chha(tea) to forget all these woes. The milk plus water (more water with a little milk – stingy Indian way) plus sugar plus tea powder will start overflowing. I try to reduce the flame. The knob as usual, does not turn. The decoction overflows, making the whole place teaty (rhyme with dirty). Are you also thinking when I will run away.
If only I had foreseen these , instead of carrying mannu (soil) to Engineering college (said mom) for four long years, I would have studied to house-hold plumbing, electricianing (!!!) and repairing gadgets like mixer, stove, grinder etc.

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