Perpetually Perplexed

 Somehow an entire week and a weekend has passes without bringing any book. So have nothing to read. Except for newspapers, scrummoms. So whole evening (well from 7:45 to 8:15 and 10 to 10:30, I will be staring at the TV sometimes asking for the remote. Husband will oblige. but not son. So I should stare at the tv which is showing some completely #@$#$# cartoon. I am sick of Tv. Even if i get remote, how many times can you watch meaningless soaps, stupid films. I don't feel like going to Discovery.     So somehow Sidhdhartha by Hermen Hesse was on the table. Was reading bits and pieces of that. Great book. Bits and pieces themselves calmed me.

You caught me blogging in the office time when one of GRRRReat colleague is trying to explain how to use GIMP. I have justification. All the other people in my office, take their coffee cups and go out and come back after half an hour. They come back from lunch at 3. Again afternoon coffee for half an hour. I don't do these things. Not because I am very consen.. I do not remember that word properly. Not that I am very very good employee. But because everyone in my office hate me. Why? Because every one in this universe hate me.    Good progress. Isn't it? From job less house wife to most hated techiee.

   ಓಡುತಿರುವ ಆಟೋಗಳೇ ಹರೆಯುತಿರುವ ಬಸ್ಸುಗಳೇ    ಯಾವ ತಡೆಯೂ ನಿಮಗಿಲ್ಲ. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಭಾಗ್ಯ ನಮಗಿಲ್ಲ

My mind has a mind of its own. Wait, wait, don't close the window yet. I am not acting silly. Read few more lines. You will also realize that even your mind has a mind of its own. Doesn't your mind say lemon, lemon,lemon when you see the word lemon anywhere? Does not your mind start "Boli re papeee hara papi hara..." whenever you see a Bolero vehicle. Does not your mind say "Ta tta... ta tta" when you hear "Meri bheegi bheegi si". Does not your mind provide background music, unwanted music, when you are trying to think something serious (how much ever rare that may be) Many a times you are thinking an abstract concept and suddenly your mind provides a GREish word for that concept. Doesn't it? It doesn't? Really??? Then do you think these are only my "arulu marulu" fifteen years ahead of "aravattu"? Or is it a symptom of schizophrenia?

When I run out of ideas to blog, I can always turn to memes. Here was one from http://curiousasacat.blogspot.com/ The question was do you mind if your age shows, as you age. Probably, no certainly I don't mind. What I mind is that I am just looking my age but not acting my age. Any suggestions for this. What do I hold on to when life gets tough? What do I hold on to. I just try to ignore the difficulties thinking tomorrow is yet another day. Problems will some how get solved. Life need not be so tough always. Or may be I just start thinking about daily chores to be done and try to get busy with that which will for the time being make me forget my worries. The picture given reminds of sleep. Aha, how nice it would be if I can go home and nap on a working day. It also reminds me of my hubby and wait,, his snoring.

The little girl pulls her chunni again and again The old lady all shriveled makes her pallu proper again and again and again Why is it your fault, If a Keechaka stares at you Why do you feel guilty? Don't feel bad. It is he who should be ashamed for a double crime staring thus and making your life miserable

Have you heard this song by D.R.Bendre "nanna kai hididaki alu nungi nagu omme naanunu nakkena" Such a nice poem. Especially "nasu naguta bandeva, tusu naguta badukona, tusu naguta tereloona" All of us need to remember this always. We may have come to this world, crying but let us try to lead the life smiling and leave the life smiling. Why should we cry? We have such a short life which can not be wasted in crying.

Brought two books from library (yeah, I am still going to my library. But in fact this time I went when I received their letter) Lolita is one and chineses classic stories collection is another one. The latter one looks dull. The introduction to each section is interesting though. They seem to have a very very long history of peasants uprising. We Indians are far too many for anybody to care if 100 here or a 1000 there dead. What else can you say about either Bhopal judgment or naxals killing 200 recently. The great Bharath matha has a billion children to spare. Right?? And we are the people who push the neighbour's child to well to see how deep it is. So unless it is someone close to us, we don't bother. Who is responsible for naxal trouble. Is it the government which did not help the tribal areas, or is it them who are ill-informed and have chosen a wrong way for getting justice? How can we help the situation? Any suggestions???

The new generation and me from old generation like quotes because it is short to read. Well these quotes I am writing about are not from Shakespere or Milton or someone. (Ofcourse you do not expect these from me) But from the behinds of autos, bikes and jeeps. One person had this "Next ride with your girl friend". Beware of him, dear readers, Another one was " Overtaking is prohibited" and a third one "My dad's road". This one was on a bike too senti to be written thus " I like to walk in the rain because nobody can see me crying..".

      God is there? He must be there. As he is not here !! ha ha!! Look, if God was here, I would not have faced so many difficulties, because I am his child and parent will not put a child to difficult situations. But I am gradually being converted (No,no no my dear pink rsss-ians, not to Christianity!) to theist from an atheist. Many times I chant Om namah shivaya (of course in my mind). Well I recently read that, prayer will help calming the mind. Yes, of course you can't have other noises when your mind is mumbling un-understood words in sanskrit. Any ways, O God if at all you are there or here or anywhere, help this poor old lady (who still thinks she is teenager) and put some sanity in her head and some mercy in others so that they won't trouble her so much!!!