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Praise him

 We are told to praise the Lord morning, evening and night. What is the use of it? He is not going to hear us, nor can he come and praise us back. And I don't think he needs any more self confidence. What with some versions of him supposedly saying ( I am making this up! Forgive me, Lord)  if you look at other gods, you will rot in hell.

Instead praise your children. They are hungry as much for your positive stroke as much as for the food you burn cook. You are talking over the phone for the past one and a half hour, your little one tugs your arm and shows "Amma, amma, look I have drawn the sky and tree". What do you do? You say "not now" and chase him away and finally when your tele-conversation is over, you burst on him/her"You are not letting me talk at all. And why are you drawing that stupid thing? Don't you have any home work to do? Now let me look at the drawing again. Why is it so ugly? Why have you not colored neatly? When I asked you to go for art class last summer, you did not go. Now see, you can not draw at all". The child will never hold a pencil or a brush in his/her life. You could have been little gentle. "Dearie, this drawing is good. Let us do one thing. Let us learn to draw even better from tomorrow. If you want,  you can even join the drawing class". Easier said than done.

And what about the pati mahashay. Is he exempted from your un-praising. He comes home at 8 after one whole day of office work, politics, back biting etc and then maneuvering  the road with all the pot holes, road humps, bad drivers and their bad languages. You start "Hello". Then then let all the hell loose. "So today you are late by 3 minutes. Why don't you inform me if you are coming late? Where the hell have you been? With whom?". Come on, lady,  3 minutes? But the tirade does not stop there. "See I asked you to bring onions on the way home from ---- where it is cheaper by 1 rupee. You did not. You do not pay attention at all". Now he does not mind going back to the office even traveling again on hellish road. Instead you can ask him how his day was and give him his remote. And when appropriate complement him for his positive qualities or deeds. Haven't you been told that this is how "other" women snatch husbands?

But what happens to you? Do you get any praising at all? Does your family ever tell you, how much you work for the home?

Dear men, when your wife starts some gossip about the neighbor or some news from her mother's place, you can just fake some interest instead of responding "Give me another dosa". You can tell her that the new recipe she has tried is really tasting good/different/interesting. You can say her "You take care of me and children so much. what will I ever do without you".  She may even forget to ask for a new saree for next birthday or festival.

But that reminds me a joke. When guy friends meet each other they call each other names, but do not mean them. But when girl friends meet each other they call each other dear, honey, darling etc, and do not mean them either.

But on serious notes, don't you think people can immediately catch you if your praise is not genuine?

You tell me if I praise my child too much, he/she will become complacent and stop working hard. But will he/she work hard if you criticize whole day? I read some where that you should boost the self esteem of the child so much that the entire world can't break it.

 


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Someshwara shataka

ಚರಿಪಾರಣ್ಯದ ಪಕ್ಷಿಗೊಂದು ತರು ಗೊಡ್ಢಾಗಲ್ ಫಲಂ ಈವಿದಾ
ಮರಗಳ್ ಪುಟ್ಟವೆ ಪುಷ್ಪವೊಂದು ಬಳಲಲ್  ಭ್ರಂಗಕ್ಕೆ ಪೂವಿಲ್ಲವೆ
ನಿರತಂ ಸತ್ಕವಿಗೋರ್ವ ಗರ್ವಿದಂ ನೃಪ ತಾಂ ಲೋಭಿಯಾಗಲ್ ನಿಜಂ
ಧರೆಯೊಳ್ ದಾತರು ಪುಟ್ಟರೆ ಹರ ಹರಾ ಶ್ರೀ ಚೆನ್ನ ಸೋಮೇಶ್ವರ

Will a bird in the wild go hungry just because one fruit tree dries up? If one flower withers, will not the bee get any flowers? If one haughty king is miserly, will there be no patrons (of poetry) on this earth?


ಕೆಲವಂ ಬಲ್ಲವರಿಂದ ಕಲ್ತು ಕೆಲವಂ ಶಾಸ್ತ್ರಂಗಳೋದುತಂ
ಕೆಲವಂ ಮಾಳ್ಪವರಿಂದ ಕಂಡು ಕೆಲವಂ ಸುಜ್ಙಾನದಿಂ  ನೋಡುತಂ
ಕೆಲವಂ ಸಜ್ಜನಸಂಗದಿಂದಲರಿಯಲ್ ಸರ್ವಜ್ಞನಪ್ಪಂ ನರಂ
ಪಲವಂ ಪಳ್ಳ ಸಮುದ್ರವೈ ಹಾರ ಹರಾ ಶ್ರೀ ಚೆನ್ನ ಸೋಮೇಶ್ವರ

Learning from wise men, reading from good books, observing others  work and learning from good company, these are the ways a man becomes omni-scient (sarvajna - one who knows everything). Just like many streams join together to make an ocean.

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