Perpetually Perplexed

It has been a normal day so far. Waking up at 4 am and trying to fix the ad issue of the app unsuccessfully. Some random noise outside the door of garbage collectors. Taking an early nap and waking up to the voice of self telling I wanna die and to the smell of garbage and plastic burning some where near by. Reverse horn (these things still exist) of a vehicle nearby. It is been a normal day.

Feminism - such a bad f-word. You are a feminist - you are smoking, drinking woman who does not care about Indian Samskriti. This is the interpretation of our people about feminist woman. Slut shaming is our samskriti. We never blink an eye before saying another woman is having bad "character". So how is feminist movement in India. Take a look here http://elle.in/magazine/does-feminism-need-better-pr/

paritranaya vinashaya sadhuunaam, paritranaya dushkrataam sambhavami yuge yuge I take birth again and again to decimate the good people and help the bad people. This is my version of Geetha shloka regarding current context.

There are green activists and there are big corporations. Corporations are controlling everything. They are de-facto government. Rich people of these Corps live in a separate worlds and plebeians live in another world (slum). Green activists are trying to save man from destroying himself and the earth. Their efforts are clandestine because if found, activists just disappear. Because these activists are pose a hurdle to Corps. Even the church is part of these corps. Priests try to interpret bible words into some thing which benefits Corps. Corps have huge research facilities. And some such places, they have invented vitamin pills which have some disease vectors mixed. People who take these pills fall sick. More medicines are sold. Patients are hospitalized - hospitals run by Corps get more money. So men are plundering other men and the earth non-stop. Then there are pain ballers, who are frustrated, angry plebeians who are  almost psychopaths. Pain balling is gladiator ...

I had almost stopped reading. By reading I mean non-technical stuff and non-newspaper. Why? Did I take up a job? Have I suddenly become highly motivated to cook and clean. None of the above. I realized that I do not read beyond first 10 pages of any book. First few hours of a day are spent going between kitchen and terrace. And next few hours are spent being sthitha - not sthitha prajna. Rather shayita - if there is word like that in Sanskrit. I hardly get up from couch, watching repeat shows of TV serials which are making me nauseated. And I snack non-stop. As if TV and food will fill the void. So rather than returning unread book with late fees, I decided not to bring any books at all. But then I brought two books. To restart the habit of reading, I should bring an interesting book, which will be better than TV serials. Detective novels? But that is an insult to my reading history. I, who have read authors like Maughm, Sartre and books like Tin Drum,  should read childish ...

Common man and woman is afraid. Afraid to speak, afraid to raise their voices against injustice, afraid to question authorities. Why is it so? Has our country suddenly become autocratic? I don't think so. Government is as it always has been. Barely functioning. But the so called fringe elements are becoming louder, bolder and can I add - more cruel. And the government, the police and the judicial system,  hardly protect the common man against these fringe elements. OK. Many people are sharing this view. But I was actually surprised to hear Mohandas Pai saying that he is afraid to name those responsible for Monday riots in Bangalore.  He is a renowned industrialist,  if he is afraid to speak out, what is the status of us - middle class, salaried people.  Our rulers want to keep us in fear. So do political parties. Because people who are afraid, are easy to manipulate.

My frustrations, anger feelings are better expressed with images. Of course borrowed. And who else can say these better than aunt ACID?

I was and am tired of my windows laptop. Things start disappearing from time to time and I am unable to bring them back. Few months back it was network indicator.Why do I need indicators? Because I need to be disconnected almost always. Because I am paranoid surrounded by unfriendly wifi connections of some unfriendly, almost hostile people. So I thought let me buy a ubuntu system and live happily ever after with that system.  Happily ever after is not written in my kismet. When I first bought the system, sound was not working. Then lan connection was not working and next wifi was not working. Windows tweaking is simple - relatively. You just enable and disable some services. At the most you may need to use registry editor. Or worst case scenario, factory reset fixes the problem. You may need to install all software all over again.. But ubuntu is different. Users of this system are supposedly geeks. So if you have fever, ubuntu gives you an anatomy book and asks you to fix ...