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Mosquitoes

"Ek machchar … "all we hindi film loving Indians remember this dialogue of yesteryears. May be for once a movie dialogue is truthful. These mosquitoes do really make us impotent.
We live in an developing area. So there are many empty sites. And we believe that is the major reason for large number of mosquitoes. It is believed that they come inside the house just before it gets dark (like pre-teen kids). So I religiously close all the windows ( all 17 of them) at that time and then sit getting baked in the heat. Then around 8 pm when we feel we will scream because of heat, one of us will open sitting room window. Ha, they are all waiting. They dutifully enter the house and start attacking us.
But I felt they have some consideration towards me. If I sit on sofa, watching some worthless soap, they bite and bite and make me getup." Do you want to become even heavier(if it is possible)" they ask. "Get up and go to the kitchen and cook something nice. At least your family will appreciate you" . I have to go to kitchen.
But what I don’t understand is even in the kitchen when I start washing the dishes they start their attack. Again this may their good will. "You are paying so much for that maid. Now if you finish all these what will she do?" Is that their argument?
Anyway I started saying let be. (watch astha channel) I had come to the conclusion that this house is as much theirs as it is mine. But last night they stabbed my back.
We were earlier using mosquito coil to chase them away. Is it called good knight? I think so. What a name!! Now either they got mutated or they know how to hold their breath (pranayama!). Good knight proved to good night for mosquitoes and very bad night for us. So next we bought a mosquito net so that we can cage ourselves. This net has a slit like these bollywood star’s dress where two wraps overlap each other. May be I don’t know how to tuck this slit properly (An Aishwarya or a Celina would have handled it better). I slept or rather I tried to sleep inside this cage in all thirty four degrees temperature. To soothe myself I imagined I am in Antartica freezing to death. And a prince charming (should I say old king charming ) carries me in his arms and brings me away. Thank god I don’t feel the chill and it is so warm here. I thought thus and I cajoled myself to fall asleep.
Dear reader, if you are not from India, you will be asking "why the hell don’t you switch on AC?" In India AC is used only in offices where people behave they can’t breathe a second without AC and in the homes of ultra rich people. So don’t talk about AC. Not because we can’t afford that. Because we can’t afford its electricity charges.
OK so somehow I had managed to fall asleep. Then I woke up thinking Oh God I am now in a desert. But then gr… gr…. My husband’s snoring ensured me that I am in my own bed. But where have all these insects who are attacking me come from? It did not take too long to realize that all mosquitoes are now inside the net and are having a feast sucking my blood. I thought of waking my husband. But it will be of no use. May be these mosquitoes are a little bit afraid of biting him. He is roaring sorry snoring. I yell “ enough of you and your mosquito net. I am leaving “. I get up and come outside the cage and these still chase me. I do not know where to hide. I even contemplate of sleeping in the bath tub. Atleast it will be cool. And may be mosquitoes don’t like to get wet. Then I give up the idea after imaging the headlines tomorrow “A house wife drowns in her bath tub after falling asleep there”.
In the meanwhile my husband’s happiness of having the whole bed to himself is short lived. He does not like to share his bed with so many mosquitoes. I don’t know if he would have changed his opinion if they were female. He switches on the light, claps many mosquitoes to death. And then back to snoring.
I sleep in the sitting room with light on.
You want to know the climax? Morning as I am fixing the breakfast husband asks “ I thought I saw some light in the sitting room. Did you forget to switch off the light”. GRRR….. I start counting till 10.

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