Perpetually Perplexed

My current maid servant is old. May be in her late fifties. (I do not feel like telling her anything even when she does not work properly. ) Where are your children I asked. They are staying separately. And I have to work and take care of my old man she said. Why don't you apply for old age pension I asked again. We tried but not able to get. We are not even getting the 10Rs /kg rice. I started my R&D. Googled for old age pension. The information I got was really breath taking. If you provide sufficient information about your destitution and your age is above 65, the kind Indian government will provide you the old age pension of full 75 rupees a month. Isn't it too generous of the government? What all you can buy with that money? 2 kgs of Rice?? Thank you India. You care for your citizens yes, senior citizens

In the training Institute where I am working , they conduct classes on Sundays also. So someone has to work on Sundays. It invariable comes to me. OK, I should leave the cozy feeling of getting up late on a sunday, spend the day with family members like arguing with husband and nagging son, go for shopping some stupid dress which I realise does not suit/fit/look good on me as soon I bring it home and take a beauty no no no beautiful nap in the afternoon for half an hour times 6. These things are something one looks forword to. But alas, my bosses do not realise that. They will always schedule a sunday class for me and ruin my week end and hence my week. Not only that, I am entitled a compensatory off for working on Sunday. It will not be on a fixed day. The day depends on the whim and fancy of DCM,CM. No no, not Yeddy, our deputy center manager or center manager. To get this , I have to mail, call and talk personally at least ten times. I am sick and tired of all this. So this week I s

Does this happen to everyone or atleast anyone? I will be travelling to office. I see the backside of a vehicle and see payal written there. Then suddenly background music "payalawali dekhana..". What is wrong with that you may ask. Nothing I just wonder in my very very volatile RAM, how many songs are stored. And also, I am thinking something and not able to get suitable word. But again my background process supplies with most suitable (not so well known) word. Good. Again too many books which I read are not completely futile. Coming back to songs , I am very very fond of bollywood songs of good old old days. I got this site songs.pk from my son. Has a very good collection of songs both old and new. It took me a long time to realise that pk stands from pakistan. Started feeling guilty. Why should I download our own hindi songs from a pakistani site? In our office, in our room, every one is a fan of bollywood songs. A chubby boy from MP will be singing and listening to sad

I am getting too much angry on spouse and son. Absence of maid servant may not be the only reason. I am seeing the futility of all these. Why do I work in a job where I am not happy, students are not happy, employer is not happy. What future holds for me. Work here till I re tyre? I know I love to learn than to teach. But I will not paid to learn. I can feel bearably ok , when I am teaching to smart kids. Smart kids will become oversmart after they feel they have learnt enough from me. But I work because TINA factor. How long? How to come out of this infinite loop. There is no ctrl C. Or will it cause kernel panic? So far I was just trying either alt-tab or ctrl z. exit I am not sure. But halt is only in the hands of superuser. Alas I am not that. Suppose I leave this job , I can stay at home. Go to my library once a week read books and clean and cook the rest of the time. (Have not I argued like this each time I had quit my job only to realise I wont clean and cook little. And will be

Read two books, Onistha some French book and Something happened by Joseph Heller. First one is not good, I don't even remember now what the story was all about. But Something Happened is really too good. Of course again the theme, family is more relevant to me than some war story like catch-22. Anyway it is a good read. Again I try to compile the kernel, once everyday and fail. Not able to understand what is the problem. Anyway I have done it in office. My processor here is core-2. I tried giving core-2, 686, pentium pro. Nothing seems to work. What am I to do? I tried getting user mode linux and running it. That is also failing may be I do not have sufficient swap partition. If I write one good device driver.... I write it. That is about it. Have started feeling jealous about these kids, who learn and get better jobs. I do not have that prospect. I have to rot in this hell.