I belong to old school. Do not call my husband honey, darling, and not even his name. I just call him riiiiiii (something like suniye in hindi - respectful calling mostly reserved for husbands).
In the early days of our marriage, I the ulta modern self asked him can I call him by his name. He flatly said no. So I am stuck with riii. Let me tell you something in my in-laws house I was expected to call almost everybody with plural. Husband, his parents, his elder brothers, his elder sisters, his dog. No not his dog. In fact there was no dog, thank god for that. I was expected to like any other daughter in law in an orthodox family. But I reserved my plural to only husband and his parents.
Now both his parents are no more. So husband has the exclusive luxury of getting respect from me.
Once there is child in family, name calling(??) is much easier. "putta, ask appa(dad in kannada) whether he wants tea?" "Putta, where is appa going now?" and so on. But it is always plural. "appa ellige hogiddare" not "hogiddane"
But suddenly today I had this doubt. When I am really angry with him, when I am scolding him in mind (in mind because he is in office), do I call him avanu (he singular) or avaru(he or they - with respect). But I do not call him by either. Because I will be scolding him in englis.
What about you, my dear lady friends - when you are really angry with your husband you will think " aa @#%$#$% nanmaga ...." or you will think "aaa @#%$#$% nanmaklu.."?
In fact my mother in law would not even think of pronouncing her husband's name. Her generation thought that if wife tells husband's name, his life would be reduced. There is this very old joke. In some processsion every one was shouting "Shri mat ramaramana Govindaa Goooovindaaaa". One lady was saying "Nandu adeya, nandu adeya" ( "Mine too" "Mine too".) Obviously her husband's name was Govinda.
In the early days of our marriage, I the ulta modern self asked him can I call him by his name. He flatly said no. So I am stuck with riii. Let me tell you something in my in-laws house I was expected to call almost everybody with plural. Husband, his parents, his elder brothers, his elder sisters, his dog. No not his dog. In fact there was no dog, thank god for that. I was expected to like any other daughter in law in an orthodox family. But I reserved my plural to only husband and his parents.
Now both his parents are no more. So husband has the exclusive luxury of getting respect from me.
Once there is child in family, name calling(??) is much easier. "putta, ask appa(dad in kannada) whether he wants tea?" "Putta, where is appa going now?" and so on. But it is always plural. "appa ellige hogiddare" not "hogiddane"
But suddenly today I had this doubt. When I am really angry with him, when I am scolding him in mind (in mind because he is in office), do I call him avanu (he singular) or avaru(he or they - with respect). But I do not call him by either. Because I will be scolding him in englis.
What about you, my dear lady friends - when you are really angry with your husband you will think " aa @#%$#$% nanmaga ...." or you will think "aaa @#%$#$% nanmaklu.."?
In fact my mother in law would not even think of pronouncing her husband's name. Her generation thought that if wife tells husband's name, his life would be reduced. There is this very old joke. In some processsion every one was shouting "Shri mat ramaramana Govindaa Goooovindaaaa". One lady was saying "Nandu adeya, nandu adeya" ( "Mine too" "Mine too".) Obviously her husband's name was Govinda.
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