You are hearing lot of furore regarding Made snana where the devotees roll over the eaten food of Brahmins, believing that this will cure their skin diseases. I believe that the practice is heinous and should be banned.
But in our community of havyaka brahmins there was another practice. A woman should eat only after her husband has eaten the food. That is okay. But the next part is, she should eat in the same plate or plantain leaf of her spouse - to put it in kannada "enjalu bale". Why? I tried questioning people. I did not get proper answer. I agree that a woman must respect her husband (and it is better if the respect is mutual). But that does not mean she should demean herself to such an extent.
Demeaning reminds of another practice. During the marriage ritual, the bride is supposed to wash the feet of groom and drink that water.
I can see my mother in law rolling her eyes, from sky. And I may offend many other people who believe in rituals and believe in not questioning them. I have heard women supporting even the custom of shaving the heads of widows (which was prevalent in Brahmins few decades back), with the justification that men should not get attracted to them. But my belief is every person has and must maintain self respect, even if that person is a female.
But in our community of havyaka brahmins there was another practice. A woman should eat only after her husband has eaten the food. That is okay. But the next part is, she should eat in the same plate or plantain leaf of her spouse - to put it in kannada "enjalu bale". Why? I tried questioning people. I did not get proper answer. I agree that a woman must respect her husband (and it is better if the respect is mutual). But that does not mean she should demean herself to such an extent.
Demeaning reminds of another practice. During the marriage ritual, the bride is supposed to wash the feet of groom and drink that water.
I can see my mother in law rolling her eyes, from sky. And I may offend many other people who believe in rituals and believe in not questioning them. I have heard women supporting even the custom of shaving the heads of widows (which was prevalent in Brahmins few decades back), with the justification that men should not get attracted to them. But my belief is every person has and must maintain self respect, even if that person is a female.
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