Perpetually Perplexed

Why is it that the German authors write so intensely. Gunter grass now this Herman Hesse. His book magister ludi is GREAT!! But I have not yet finished the book. Read one maughm which is strangely about miracles and is strangely not tragic. But a good read. THe book is Catalina. It is about a lame girl who gets her legs back by miracle. Well it is not as touching because it is not tragic. But what I finished just now is, Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo. I am half sure I have not spelled his name right. The book is about dreams and visions etc. Style is somewhat Richard Bachish. But a great book. For once, I am happy that I bought this book.

Atleast my one search must be over. No no I am not talking about searching my vehicle key before starting to office or searching for my son or husband's banian in the storage bin which was once a ward robe. No it is not at all a trivial search like this. It is high funda, spiritual search more suitable to my age (my 43 is the age for spirituality. Not yet you say..? THanks.) I have found the almighty omnipresent God. No, no he did not break the column and come out roaring like Narasimha. In fact I have not seen him yet. But I know who he is or she is? 3 days back I saw on the backside of a truck. " Pradeep . tayiyee devaru". Translated into English it says " Pradeep mother is god". So there is one particular Pradeep whose mother is God. Now don't be foolish again and ask me Hindu God or musalman god. There is only one god or should we say Goddess. THat is mother of Pradeep. Now you will tell me there might be 1000s of Pradeeps in this namma Bengaluru. How ...

Today I argued with my family members - husband and parents about why I hate Modi. Two days back I wanted to talk in my office function about religious hatred. But did not. And now I came across a blogger Indian Homemaker who has explained why she hates BJP. Like her , even I clearly remember the days when there was no religious divide in small towns, no religious violence in southern states. So don't you see who is responsible for this divide and rule. These people gained enough votes with hate propaganda against muslims. Now they have started against christians. If they believe that conversion is crime, crime enough to burn the churches and people, then what about the conversion of party these politicians do with no other motive than sticking to power. Why don't these hindutva brigade burn the politicians who have converted to BJP recently. India is a secular country. Every citizen has a right to practice any religion he wishes or not to practice any religion at all. Who are...

I see him almost every day. He kind of lights up the place. Many days I just see a glimpse of him and then he disappears. After few minutes he reappears even more beautiful. Well, I am talking about setting sun I get to see on the drive back home( Yes, I am one of those few fortunate people who can return from office before night fall). The color of him will even be better than any beauty blushing before going to meet her lover. And clouds will try to imitate him and decorate the whole sky. Together they paint a picture which is a feast to the eyes. And the wonderful thing is this picture is different each day but beautiful every day. If god is the creator of all this then " God you are great!!!!"

Forgot what I was writing yesterday. My son snatched the keyboard from me and tried to save so that he can start playing games. Yeah, I know I should discipline him more. But I think it is little too late now, when he is 5'10" tall and 14 years old. Was an office meeting and the lecture was don't be an open book. Yeah, that is what I am and that is the root cause of all my problems. I changed the title of my blog as that is the biggest question troubling me. I am like that kati patang which does not know where it should go.

After getting that out, now I can write something meaningful. Such as things which make me really happy. 1> Reading some good book munching some snacks. 2> Getting a program un-stuck and get the output 3> Reading the craps I write in my diary 4> Watching some really funny film even if it is subtitled foreign language film 5> Talking to loved ones on phone on and on and on..... 6> Sleeping in a winter morning completely wrapped in warm rajayi. Now you wonder which part of it is housewifish. Nothing. Zilch. Right. So what. I need not feel happy only if I cook, clean or feed.

What should I write. Finding difficult to put my thoughts into words. One feeling which lingers. That there is no-one. Absolutely no-one.