Kitchen work for dummies - Part I

I am a great fan of dummies books and articles. And I always wondered how is that, there was no article   in the category for cooking and cleaning. So I am giving you a few points I learnt .(the hard way)

1. If you have kept milk on the stove, never leave the kitchen, under that false hope that you will come after some time to check it. Believe me, you won't. More so, if you are under the spell of comp.  All your milk will pour out of the vessel, or worse still, some of it which is left in the vessel, would burn and burn the vessel. 

• It is better to multi-task for this situation. You cook something else when milk is on stove. But you say you have only 2 burners. Then you invest in new fancy 4 burner stoves with glass top. They are worth the occasional burns on hands. And glass top gives your kitchen a classy look and yourself some - extra work to clean it 20 times in a day. 

1. If pressure cooker is on the stove, make a point to check it at least after half an hour. You do not want to cause an explosion and police arriving to your house. Well, if the cooker does not scream even after half an hour, it means that the rubber gasket is not working and causing steam to leak. Or it may also mean that, you forgot to pour water at the bottom of the cooker(I have done that, believe me). 
2. If there is any food is left after meals, use your discretion before saving it for next meal and be merciless in some situations. You will certainly not use one ladleful of left over rice. 
3. Do not make a habit of being too selfless and telling your spouse and kids - especially kids, that they need not worry and they can eat the side-dishes completely without leaving any for you. Or else, you will end up eating dosa without chutney (after preparing chutney) and rice with pickle most of the days. 
4. If the coconut shell is having tiny bit of coconut flesh after grating, again be merciless and throw it away. Anyway you will have to throw it after a week of it lying on the kitchen platform. 
5. Do not be under the illusion that you will start cleaning the house after this one show on TV. You won't. Even after four more shows. Switch off the tv and finish the darned work so that you can start blogging soon. 
6. Do not take trouble asking your spouse and kids, what they want for meals. They won't give a definitive answer most of the times. When they do, you will repent asking. Best strategy is to cook what you like to eat. That way at least one person will like your food.
7. Do not keep pampering your family by asking them whether they need something to eat or drink after they come from outside. They have mouth, right?
8. Make sure you close this window, if you see your mom approaching the comp.