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The Dark Holds no Terrors by Shashi Deshapande

Saru comes and lands in her mothers' house. Mother is no more. Father welcomes her with an indifferent attitude. She makes it her home, doing the chores and always lost in her thoughts.

She prolongs her stay indefinitely. Not bothered about the husband, two children and the practice she has left behind in Bombay. She is a practicing doctor and a famous one. She is forever thinking about Manu, her husband whom she married against the wishes of her parents, her children Renu and Abhi, and her mother and her younger brother Dhruva. Dhruva who folloed her to the muddy lake and who drowned there and for which her mother blamed her. She always remembers her mother's words "Why didn't you die? Why are alive ?" She keeps thinking that her mother always hated her and even now when she is dead, her hatred is burning Saru. She always wanted to show her mother some day. Show what, she was not sure.

She remembers that, how after Dhruva's death, all festivals and celebrities ceased in her house. And how in order to prove her worth to the world and especially to her mother she studies her really hard and got a medical seat. And how for once, her father supported her against his wife's wishes to join medical college. Once she joins medical college, her life is transformed. She is no longer ugly duckling but a swan. Manu, the poet and college hero, whom she had a crush since early days, falls in love with her. And they get married before even her course is completed.

But when her dream hero Manu becomes a terror, she does not realize. His writing career has failed and he is just a shadow behind his famous doctor wife. But he seems happy that with her earnings and the fact that they can afford the luxurious life. But in the nights he physically abuses her. She who is used to scold Dhruva for being afraid of darkness, when they were children, starts dreading the nights.

Somehow she blames herself for Manu's sadism too , just like she blames herself for Dhruva's death  and  her mother's death.

One day when her father tells her that Manu is coming to take her back to Bombay, she again packs her suitcase and gets ready to leave. She does not know where and she does not care. Then her father says "Do not run away again"

This is the first book by Shashi Deshapande. And I felt that how a parent can scar the life of a child for ever. 

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